


ramona cries AGAIN

by skuxie



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:04:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22238995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skuxie/pseuds/skuxie





	ramona cries AGAIN

Today had been shit. A big, fat, shitty day. Ramona sat on her bed, staring at nothing in particular. The stench of beer dripped from her hair and onto the blanket. Her makeup was running; from tears or the alcohol, she wasn’t sure. She hadn't even bothered to take her pumps off, even though her feet were screaming. She wiped away a eyeliner-mixed tear. It wasn’t the first, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Her lip quivered. She was soggy, smelled awful, and she probably looked just as bad. Thank GOD Kian wasn’t home.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ramona recalled all the terrible, awful moments that had lead up to this breakdown. She had been late to work due to the traffic. ‘Thanks, Bezos!’ A couple of shitty teens had harassed her about the store’s prices. ‘Look, kids. It’s not my fault it costs an arm and a leg to live in this town. You either got the cash, or you can kiss my ass.’ That remark was rewarded with a crude comment followed by a comment about her weight. Then a lecture by the manager. Once she was free from the shackles of her low paying job for the day, she managed to lose both an earring and a nail. Despite all this, she tried to remain positive. She always tried. 

Then, night came and she hit the breaking point. A date with a guy she had met at an improv comedy show. The show had been shit, but he was cute, and he made it worth the $15 admission. Or that’s what she thought. He had fluffy, brown hair, a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, and a light stubble along his jaw and above his upper lip. He was handsome. But ‘handsome’ can only get you so far.

The date started off nicely. She had practice. She could make any date enjoyable. But not this time. The date, Liam, consistently called her ‘hot’ throughout the night. She enjoyed the compliment, and flirted back at first, but after the sixth time being told “You’re so damn hot, I can’t handle it.” it begins to feel a little creepy. Less fun and flirty zone, and more objectification zone. 

“Ramona, I think you might be the hottest girl in Washington. Hell, I can’t stop looking at you!”

Ramona feigned a smile. It felt more like a grimace. “I know, babe. I got the message the first time. And the second time. As well as the third, fourth, fifth. As much as I love having you blow smoke up my ass, why don’t we talk about something else?”

Liam’s shoulders jerked up in a shrug. “Why don’t we get something to drink? My treat.” 

He looked a little miffed. Great. 

Ramona shook her head lightly. “I’ll just take a water. That’s very sweet of you, though.”

Liam gave a dumbfounded chuckle. “What, a man can’t buy you a drink now? You too good for me?”

Ramona’s acrylic nails tap, tap, tapped against the table. It was something she did when she was feeling anxious. Just like now. “No! No...It’s not that. It just that uhh… I don’t drink.” She forced herself to laugh as she gestured to herself. “I’m watching my figure.”  
The man leaned back in his seat. He was irritated. “Clearly.” 

Her heart skipped a beat. EXCUSE you?! Now she was irritated. Her mind shouted to tell him off. To make a scene. But there were so many people. Too many witnesses. Too many people to see her being ...imperfect. Instead she laughed weakly and looked down. Her fingernails tapped faster. “I’m trying.” She said too softly for the other to hear.

Her date ordered himself a tall beer. They sat in uncomfortable silence for a long while as he slowly drank. The sound of Ramona’s nails was the only thing they contributed to the murmur of the bar. After a while, Liam got up from his seat and excused himself to make a phone call. He left his half full glass on the table. Ramona gave him a weak smile as he walked away. 

She sat there, tracing the grain of the wood table and tapping away. Breathing felt hard. Her chest felt tight. Tighter than the tight dress already made it feel. ‘What a shitty day. A big, fat, shitty day.’ God, the thought of crying in public was mortifying. She swallowed her tears. She was good at it. She had practice.  
Eventually, the date wandered--or rather, wobbled--back. He didn’t look too happy about it. He looked over the entire date. He looked drunk. He lowered himself into his seat unceremoniously, almost taking the entire table down with him. “As good as thiss hasbeen, I think I’mma ‘bout ready t-to go.”   
Ramona frowned. She didn’t particularly like interacting with drunk people. In fact, it was downright upsetting sometimes. It was a secret she kept to herself. No one close to her had any way of knowing, and neither did this jackass. Not that he’d care.

He reached for his half empty cup. He miscalculated. The glass topped over, flicking its contents across the table and into Ramona’s face. She gasped, freezing in place. The light in the room brighted for a split second, like a camera flash had gone off to match Ramona’s shock. The bar quieted for a second. Ramona’s heart seemed to stop and go at a million miles per hour all at once. Her face felt like it was on fire, despite being dripping wet.   
Liam’s stunned silence was broken by a drunken snort of laughter. “Ohhh my god!”

That was it. Ramona got up out of her chair without a word, and stomped out of the bar. She was definitely crying in public now. She had never felt more humiliated in her life. Her life was over.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back in her small room, Ramona’s vision came into focus. She looked around, but could only make out vague shapes in the darkness. This always happened when she was upset. She couldn’t control it. She didn’t know how. The cold darkness was overwhelming. Isolating. It was like a vacuum where she was alone with no way out. Alone to wallow in her thoughts and feelings she worked so hard to keep locked up. Negative feelings were so messy, she didn’t want to ever show them. So she there, on the verge of being swallowed up by the dark like a candle sputtering on its last moments of light.   
Even when the darkness cleared and she managed to lock up the weaknesses again, she knew it would persist. No matter how much she smiled and laughed with her friends-- No matter how much she appreciated their company-- the feeling would persist, wrapping around her feet like a shadow. Loneliness. Worry. Doubt that those around her would stay. A tear fell onto the back of her hand, as black as the gloom that weighed on her, now and forever.


End file.
